i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
