I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
