I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
handjob tips. give me some.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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