I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dick very happy bro
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
