I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
