I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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