That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize