I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
