yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
