Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
