dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
either way he was missing a nipple.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
