Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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