He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
