left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Randomize
