too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
