And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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