I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
