i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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