My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
