everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We need to rekindle our bromance
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
