thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
