"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
