i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
