Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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