that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
