Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
