theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
