Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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