I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
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