i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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