you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i believe in u and ur pee
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
