I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What a dumb baby whore.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
