You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
