That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
