i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
