I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
