Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
