I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
