I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize