batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
