As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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