his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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