is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
