How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
