I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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