You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
