Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You took a bar mat shot.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
