My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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