ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
