Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
where are my eyebrows?
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