Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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