dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
