According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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