I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Did I show you my penis last night?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
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