Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
