Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure

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(831): View more from California

theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it

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(847): View more from Illinois

Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.

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(616): View more from Michigan

This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

did she buy you pizza?

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm driving while wearing hulk hands

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(615): View more from Tennessee

A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness

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(361): View more from Texas

He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.

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(850): View more from Florida

I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers

(815): View more from Illinois

It's not?

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