btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
