Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
