what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
