yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
