my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
