what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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