i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
