Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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